Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

The sadness was still there.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Pure Orwell: Europe condemns Iran for attacks on its own territory - Responsible Statecraft

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What I have noticed is nearly every girl I try to connect with whom reject me are in their early 20s why is that the case?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Why do men want to suck dick?

I was tired of fighting.

You are like me, then.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why do men prefer low-maintanence women?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Be who you already are.

It’s still here.

There's no way Republican Trump won all seven swing states. How was he able to cheat and steal the election?

I had run out of hope.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Does turmeric help fight cancer? If so, how?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

The sun's poles have flipped. A spacecraft is watching what happens next. - Mashable

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

And the sadness?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why do wives cheat on their loyal husbands?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What is the meaning behind people claiming to hear voices of God in their heads without anyone else hearing them? Is this a sign of mental illness or possession by an evil spirit?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.